


Going Home

by SheLovedTooEasily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Post Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheLovedTooEasily/pseuds/SheLovedTooEasily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Castiel got his grace back and the gates of hell have been closed, the angels are planning to close the gates of heaven as well, in order to restore the natural balance. But when Cas informs Dean about his possible permanent return to heaven, Dean is not amused and convinces the angel that his home is in fact somewhere else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Home

**Author's Note:**

> 'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone  
> Is where you go when you're alone  
> Is where you go to rest your bones  
> It's not just where you lay your head  
> It's not just where you make your bed  
> As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?'
> 
> Gabrielle Aplin – Home

'And now, something wonderful is going to happen… For me, and for you. I want you to live this new life to the fullest. Find a wife, make babies. And when you die, and your soul comes to heaven… Find me, and tell me your story…'

Castiel remembered Metatron's words as if they'd only been spoken just now, when in fact, he'd heard them months ago. Back when Castiel had been convinced that all was lost. That he would forever remain an ordinary human, and would never be able to fix the many mistakes that he had made.

At this exact moment, eight months after Metatron's betrayal, for the first time he thought back to that final speech that he'd been given just after the other angel had taken his grace from him. He could finally afford to take a few minutes to contemplate those words, now that the tables had been turned. Now that Castiel was an angel again, and the spell had been reversed. Now that Metatron was defeated. Now that the gates of hell were closed forever, and the earth was a fairly safe place again.

Truth be told, it had taken Castiel a while to figure out why these specific words came back to haunt him at this given point, but by now he was pretty certain as to why he was pondering on them…

When angels interacted, they had a rather accurate idea of what was going on with the other. They could see into each other's grace, the same way they could see into a human's soul. Metatron had clearly recognized that something was different about Castiel. That he carried a love with him that was pure and almost human, unlike most other angels. At which his enemy had mistakenly assumed that this love was directed at a random human woman that Castiel had encountered while spending large amounts of time on earth. That was probably the reason why Metatron had chosen those words. Oh, how wrong he had been… Love didn't work that way. Love happened accidentally and when you least expected it. For example when gripping someone tight and raising them from perdition…

Castiel grimaced as he lifted his head and looked at the actual object of his affection. The angel was standing in the middle of a large field that started at the end of a deserted road, and he gazed at the old Impala that was parked in the distance. Comfortably resting on the hood, his back against the windshield and gazing at the stars, was Dean Winchester. The hunter was enjoying a moment of peace for the first time in ages, and he was making the most of it. Now that he no longer would have to deal with vicious demons. Now that his little brother Sam was finally cured from the aftermath of the trials. Naturally, that was the first thing Castiel had made sure to do after he'd gotten his grace back: Heal Sam Winchester. Not only because the angel cared about Sam, but also because he knew how important it was to Dean.

As much as Castiel didn't want to ruin his favorite human's state of bliss, he was about to have a far from pleasant conversation with the oldest Winchester. A talk about what was currently going on in heaven. The angels had recently figured out how they could close the gates to heaven themselves with enough 'angel mojo', as the hunter always mockingly liked to call it. And although it was still up for discussion, the chances of it happening were becoming more realistic with each day that passed, seeing as most angels agreed that this was what heaven needed in order for things to get back to normal. At first Cas had protested firmly, but that was before he'd given himself some time to rethink it…

Once both the gates of hell and heaven were closed, the natural balance would be restored. Dean and Sam would be able to live a normal life. No demons, no angels gone bad. Maybe the occasional stray ghost every now and then, but nothing the Winchesters couldn't handle. And, selfish as it was, Castiel realized that maybe it was for the best if he was permanently separated from Dean. Because the angel was feeling things for the hunter that went way beyond friendship or brotherly love, and he had to stop torturing himself like this. Especially because he knew that this was an unrequited love.

He took another deep breath, gathering enough courage to make his presence known to the special human who had captured his heart…

-xxx-

It was no surprise that Dean Winchester needed some time to get used to Castiel being able to pop up out of nowhere again. After all, he'd had to deal with a very human version of his friend for the past half year. He had been deep in thought, contemplating everything that had happened recently, when the angel showed up out of the blue. The older Winchester had gone out for a little while to clear his head, leaving his already sleeping younger brother at the bunker, not wanting to rob him of any of his well-deserved rest. But even though Dean appreciated some alone-time every once in a while, he couldn't deny that he was more than thrilled to see Cas.

"Whoa! Cas, buddy, give a guy a warning." He complained jokingly when the angel appeared out of thin air, sitting next to him on the hood of his car all of the sudden.

"My apologies." Cas replied, voice a tad strained.

"You know I'm only kidding, I just…" Dean started, but his voice faded the second he turned his head to actually look at Cas.

Castiel raised his eyebrows in question as Dean unsubtly ogled him in silence.

"You look…" Dean tried again, but like the first time, failed to finish his sentence. "I mean you… Nice clothes." He muttered at last.

"Oh…" Cas quickly gazed down at the fitted suit that he was now wearing, understanding that it had probably confused his human to finally see him in an outfit that actually was accepted by society.

Many months of living as a human had given the angel a better idea of what was acceptable when it came to fashion, and he had unconsciously picked up on it and put it to good use after he'd gotten his grace back.

"You don't like it?" The angel asked, not accusing, just stating.

"What, no! That's not it, it's just different. I actually do like it… a lot. It suits you." Dean admitted, a slight smirk creeping onto his face as his eyes scanned over the blue shirt that was hiding under the suit. It was the same color as Castiel's unnaturally blue eyes. He had ditched the trench coat, and wasn't bothering to wear a tie anymore, instead the first button of his shirt nonchalantly left undone.

There was a tiny smile around Cas' lips, but his voice stayed neutral as he replied. "Good."

"Yeah…" Dean cleared his throat and made an effort to drag his eyes away from the angel, firmly fixing them on the many stars in the night sky.

The hunter felt a bit uneasy, because he realized that he appreciated Castiel's new outfit way more than he should. Alright, he wasn't gonna lie to himself; he'd had more inappropriate thoughts about his best friend before, but the two of them had always been trapped in some kind of battle or quest, leaving Dean with hardly any time to even think twice about it. Which made that he could easily avoid those feelings. But everything was different now.

When Cas had left to go to heaven after they'd gotten his grace back, a week or so ago, Dean had felt this unsettling feeling. Almost as if being restless. The feeling that he didn't want the angel to leave his side, even though there were no technical reasons to keep him around anymore…

Cas hadn't said anything yet. He was also staring at the sky in silence, probably sensing that his friend was trying to gather his thoughts, and giving him the space to do so.

When Dean was able to pull himself out of his musings, he broke the silence. "So, what brings you here? Not that I'm not, you know, glad to see you…"

He became hyperaware that basically every word that came out of his mouth made him sound like he was a complete idiot. Not to mention how he had to forcefully hold himself back from adding a pathetic 'I missed you'. Damnit.

"I came to talk to you." The angel stated unnecessarily.

"I figured that much." Dean snorted quietly as he said this.

The way in which Cas spoke never failed to amuse him. At first it had often annoyed Dean whenever his angel didn't come to the point straight away, but he had grown to found it rather endearing, as much as he hated to admit it. And as much as he hated the fact that his brain automatically had come up with the term 'endearing' when thinking about Castiel.

"We're attempting to rearrange heaven, Dean. Heaven, earth, hell… We think it's time to restore the natural balance, so to speak." Cas elaborated.

"Okay…" Dean glanced sideways, risking a confused look at the angel. "What does that mean?"

Cas felt Dean's eyes on him, and tilted his head to meet the intent gaze that the hunter was giving him. "We've figured out a way to close the gates of heaven. Earth has been used as a battlefield for demons and corrupted angels for far too long. It should be a safe place again, Dean..."

Dean's brain needed less than three seconds to put two and two together. "What?!" He nearly choked on that one short word.

Castiel gave him a look that was apologetic, but didn't speak as Dean's green eyes held his blue ones.

"You mean you're gonna be stuck up there?" Dean nodded curtly at the sky to emphasize his point, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Cas smiled ruefully. "It will be alright, Dean. You won't need me anymore. As I said, the balance will be restored. You won't encounter any monsters, angels or other complications that you and Sam won't be able to handle on your own."

For several heartbeats, all Dean could do was gape at his angel. He took in the large innocent blue eyes, the ruffled dark hair, and the weary look on his face. Until he snapped out of it and cursed under his breath, shaking his head. "Son of a bitch."

"I beg your pardon?" Castiel quirked an eyebrow at the hunter.

Dean rolled his eyes, then tiredly rubbed his forehead. "Will you just hear yourself talk?!" His voice was louder than he'd intended it to be, and Cas flinched a little.

The blue-eyed angel looked lost, the way he always did when he was unable to comprehend certain human phrases or emotions.

"Once the gates are closed, I won't have any business here anymore, Dean. The normal thing for me to do would be to go home for good." Cas explained calmly.

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" Dean groaned, sounding more and more agitated as he continued his rant. "Is that really what you think, huh? That I only need you to help me kill the bad guys, zap me back in time, translate some enochian every once in a while?"

Dean Winchester didn't talk about feelings. Not ever. Perhaps if you held a gun to his head and forced him, but even then he would put up a fight. But this was different. He knew he had to stop being a coward and speak up now. It was either that, or losing his angel forever.

Castiel blinked slowly, staring at his human in shock, his lips slightly parted.

"Because if that's the case, you haven't been paying attention, Cas!" Dean nearly growled his name.

That declaration was followed by one of the most intense staring contests that the two of them had ever held. And in their case, that was saying something.

"Dean, I never said…" But Dean cut him off, placing a hand over the angel's mouth to shut him up.

"Don't speak before you've actually thought about it." He warned.

Cas' eyes were so full of emotions, it was getting overwhelming to Dean. He wasn't distracted from those blue orbs until he felt how Castiel placed a hand over his, gently removing the hunter's hand from his mouth so he could talk.

"I know that you consider me your friend, Dean. I know Sam considers me a friend as well. You mustn't doubt that." He assured the semi-upset Winchester in front of him.

"Mustn't I?" Dean was mocking him now. "You were talking about home, do you really think heaven is your home?" He fired another question at Cas.

They were sitting close, too close, both of them leaning in. Castiel's hand was still holding Dean's, even though there was no need for it anymore. Their hands were resting on the cool hood of the Impala between them, forgotten.

"I… I don't know, Dean…" Cas' voice was down to a whisper when he answered Dean's urgent question.

Dean huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't think you're grasping the concept of home here. Do you want me to tell you what home is to me, Cas?"

He didn't wait for the angel to reply, answering his own question right away.

"Home was when you lived with me and Sam when you were human. It was eating homemade meals together, instead of having crappy junk food at smelly motels. It was hanging on the couch with you, watching a movie together, me having to pause it every stinking five minutes to explain to you what was happening because you weren't getting any of the references. It was me singing stupid songs to you when you had trouble sleeping in the beginning..."

This was the part where Dean gasped and fell silent, stunned by his own confession. Stunned, because he'd said stuff that he hadn't even been aware he'd been feeling all along.

Cas needed a minute to find his voice before he responded. "Do you really… mean that, Dean?"

"Yes!" The hunter replied exasperatedly. "Hell, I'm grateful whenever you show up just in time to stop me from getting killed for the billionth time, but all those things I just said, that is what I really need you for."

The angel realized that if he ever was going to be completely honest with Dean, this was the moment. This was his chance. He squeezed Dean's hand, the one that he conveniently was still holding in his.

"I need you too…" He said, voice low. "But you should know that I need you in more ways than you can imagine. I don't want to lie to you, I can't keep doing that. All the things you just mentioned… It were very happy memories for me as well. You kept me going when I was… well, not myself. For the first time in thousands of years, I was able to truly feel. But I ended up feeling too much, Dean…"

Cas made it sound like an excuse, but this was enough for Dean. That was all he needed. Certainty. Confirmation; Cas declaring to feel the same way about him. Albeit in his own, extraordinary way. It was enough, because by now Dean knew Castiel well enough to translate everything that the angel had just said. The feeling was mutual. The hunter wasn't sure whether or not Cas had caught on just as quickly though, and he decided to help him out by ducking his head, leaning in to press a small, innocent kiss against the angel's lips.

Castiel's eyes grew impossibly wide as Dean pulled back, measuring his reaction. There was a tension in the air during the seconds that passed before the angel followed his human's example, pressing a soft kiss to Dean's lips in return. A brief simple kiss, mainly serving the purpose of them letting each other know that they were on the same page.

"Son of a bitch…" Dean mumbled again, but this time in an affectionate way.

The smile on Dean's face was so triumphant that even Cas understood that he wasn't mad at him anymore.

"So, does this mean that we are… cool?" Dean could hear the quotations marks when Cas pronounced the word 'cool', unsure if this was the right time and context to use it.

Dean couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, I guess so… On one condition."

Cas squinted suspiciously at Dean. "What condition is that?"

"Whatever your so-called family up there decides… If and when they close the gates to heaven, you'd better make damn sure that you're down here, with me." Dean clarified, his green eyes boring into the angel's. "Your home is here with me, Cas…" He added in a softer tone.

When Castiel smiled at him, it was followed by a carefree, playful laugh. A laugh that was perhaps a bit nervous, but at the same time relieved. Dean's own fading nerves were more than enough to make him laugh along.

When Cas collected himself, he told his human exactly what he wanted to hear. "I think I can do that, Dean."

"Awesome. Just awesome." Dean uttered as one of his hands stroked the side of Cas' face, before gently cupping his jaw.

Cas welcomed the touch without thinking, closing his eyes in contentment and leaning against Dean's palm. Dean used this opportunity to take in the gorgeous angel before him. The one who seemed to be willing to give up heaven, give up everything, just for him. For the first time in his life, Dean felt like luck was finally on his side.

The kiss that followed after that realization was considerably less innocent than their earlier kisses. This kiss was hungry, full of want, because they had waited for each other for so long. As their lips moved together, fitting perfectly, all Dean wanted was to hold his angel as close as possible without crushing him. To touch everywhere at the same time. And so he did just that, messing up that dark hair even more with one hand, and slipping the other around the angel's waist. Cas' own enthusiasm didn't disappoint either, and Dean shivered involuntarily as one of Castiel's hands came to rest at the nape of his neck, playing with the short strands of hair there. The other was placed firmly on Dean's lower back, making sure to keep them pressed flush against each other.

This was it, right here. Dean's idea of home. Being with the one you loved, and who loved you in return. He smiled into the kiss as he pulled Cas even closer.

-xxx-

They lost track of time, but a proper indicator of how many hours had passed, was the bright orange sun that was now steadily rising.

"Dean… I think this is our cue." Cas remarked dryly, lifting his head from where it had been resting against Dean's shoulder.

They'd been lying in this tight embrace for quite some time, but both of them were still reluctant to move away.

"Damn, I guess you're right." Dean chuckled softly in response, unwillingly letting go of Cas and sitting up, before smoothly sliding off the hood of his Impala.

Cas pouted a little, but Dean gave him a huge grin. "Come on, angel... Get in the car. Let's go home."

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Gabrielle Aplin's song 'Home', it's beautiful, check it out. ;)
> 
> ok I shall now go back to sobbing in a corner because Destiel will never be canon, goodbye friends


End file.
